Friendship in Grief (Encore Episode with New Intro)

About this Episode

On this encore episode, you’ll hear a conversation that I recorded with my friend Leanne Ballinger almost 7 years ago! Listening to us share, still early in our grief, I can hear the tears remaining right at the surface for both of us throughout our conversation. Its a little hard for me to go back to where we were then, but at the same time, I’m just so in awe of all that God was already doing - and so proud of those versions of us! Brave Leanne and Brave Jodi trying our best to keep running towards God, not from Him. Trying our best to be grateful. Looking for God’s goodness in it all. Wanting to share in hopes of helping someone else. And working so hard to care for our living children and our hurting husbands, all while trying to figure out how to press forward in hope ourselves. And learning how to fight for joy!

In this episode you’ll hear us talk about Christian counseling, intentional gratitude, grieving differently than our spouse, the difference between internal and external processing, the downward spiral of comparison, and how to deal with real feelings of disappointment with God - knowing he is able to heal, but doesn’t.

Eric and I met Leanne and her husband Mike at a grief retreat. Their son Drew passed away the same summer that our son Jackson did. Their sweet Drew had some complications and was given a 25% chance of survival after birth, and after enduring 7 and 1/2 months of traumatic ups and downs, he went to be with the Lord. Our stories are different and our sons died at different ages and through different circumstances, but God gave us such a strong connection from the start. It has been such a help to have a kindred spirit to walk through grief with. For almost 12 years now we have walked with each other through death days, birthdays, and special days that our boys should’ve been a part of. We've also celebrated the times that life felt brighter - helping each other accept happiness again, and clinging to hope as sisters in Christ.

As we chatted this week about the episode and putting it out there for you again, one of the comments we both made had to do with the TREASURE our friendship has been in grief…and the absolute blessing that finding some sort of grief community, some other grieving friends, can be when you have had to bury a loved one. That's why I decided to rename this episode "Friendship in Grief". Maybe you aren’t grieving the loss of a loved one but have other struggles and burdens. We hope that our friendship gives you inspiration to keep working to make meaningful connections yourself - we need each other!! It’s so tempting to pull inward and put up walls up when we are hurting! But letting people in, reaching out to others, and walking together through the dark days will help your progress! It will build your hope. And it will help your fight for joy!

Here are some links for a few of the grief resources we mentioned:

What Grieving People Wish You Knew by Nancy Guthrie
https://amzn.to/46BG8vJ

Suffering: Gospel Hope when Life Doesn't Make Sense by Paul Tripp
https://amzn.to/4gSJNbQ

Holding on to Hope: A Pathway through Suffering to the Heart of God by Nancy Guthrie
https://amzn.to/3IyKbQl

I Will Carry You: The Sacred Dance of Grief and Joy by Angie Smith
https://amzn.to/4mScqYm

Shattered Dreams: God's Unexpected Path to Joy by Larry Crabb
https://amzn.to/47bVYNO

*The Fighting for Joy Podcast is sponsored by Better Help, an online counseling service that pairs you with a professional licensed therapist who will combine Biblical wisdom with their clinical expertise in mental health to help you address your unique situation. As a Fighting for Joy listener, you can receive 10% off at: betterhelp.com/fightingforjoy. Quality counseling is a worthy investment and can be such a powerful tool in the fight for joy!